Weep, you bastards.
Nice and warm in my house.
My cooker just went tits up; been out and bought a new one, cash money.
Felt a little aggrieved at having to spend so much money just prior to Christmas.
But I can afford it.
Now my thoughts go out to those who will have no Christmas dinner; those who have no home; those who will find little Christmas cheer.
And particularly to the children who will wake to little or nothing come Christmas day.
I weep; literally weep for those poor children and the parents who feel inadequate.
You should weep, David Cameron, Iain Duncan Smith and George Osborne.