SMILING CARCASS'S TWO-PENNETH

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Stars unite to raise money to help Myleene Class fight the deadly mansion tax

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Originally posted on Pride's Purge:

(satire?)

Stars including One Direction, Emeli Sande, Rita Ora and Ed Sheeran have recorded a new version of the Band Aid charity single to raise money to help Myleene Class in her fight against the spread of the deadly mansion tax.

The recording of the reworked Do They Know It’s Christmaswhich also included Ellie Goulding, Sam Smith, Chris Martin and Bono – comes exactly 30 years after the original Band Aid song was released to help eradicate the severe famine of attention which was being suffered by large numbers of 1980s pop stars at the time.

Victims of the deadly mansion tax - a disease which effects humans and other primates earning over several million a year – typically display symptoms such as intense whining and constant bouts of moaning, followed by copious vomiting of bullshit from several orifices.

And in the final stages of the mansion tax, sufferers afflicted by the disease often experience dangerously high blood…

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Written by Smiling Carcass

19/11/2014 at 8:17 AM

Posted in Uncategorized

¡Viva la Revoluçion!

with one comment

Tory policy- they just don’t get it, do they?

If you manufacture an underclass of homeless people, create a pool of unemployed people you potentially create an army of disenfranchised revolutionaries.

Ask Tsar Nikolai; oh, hang on- you can’t- can you!

¡Viva la Revoluçion!

Written by Smiling Carcass

16/11/2014 at 2:59 AM

Posted in Uncategorized

Millionaires Threaten Protest March If They Have To Pay A Little Bit Of Tax

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Originally posted on the void:

griff-fuck

Following the cringe-making intervention of a hasbeen comedian, now posh twats are threatening a protest over any future mansion tax calling it a ‘humanitarian’ issue.

An article in the Ham and High newspaper reveals that Hampstead millionaires may even be planning a march against the proposed tax – although for now they have settled on a petition to the Labour Party.

One dismayed toff, art dealer James Butterwick, claims he may even have to close his – by invitation only – art gallery where he stores his collection of “museum quality paintings with flawless provenance.”  Is your heart bleeding?  Mine fucking isn’t.

Of course Butterwick is most worried about his dear old mam who lives in a house worth a mere £4 million and can’t afford to pay any more tax*.  Yet according to Butterworth’s linkedin page, his family could afford to send him to Eton College.

Hundreds of…

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Written by Smiling Carcass

12/11/2014 at 11:22 AM

Posted in Uncategorized

How are your sandwich-making skills?

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Smiling Carcass:

I worked at a sandwich factory for three years, until Sept. 2013 when I was lucky to find alternative employment back in a foundry.

‘…shitty employer struggles to fill shitty jobs.’ hits the nail squarely on the head.

No union and no will among the workforce to organise- despite my efforts.

Working nights, my wage, including shift allowance was less than my basic wage, without shift allowance now- and I still think I’m underpaid.

A flexible hours contract, which is as bad as a zero hours contract, because although you knew when you had a shift, you didn’t know if you’d do four hours or twelve hours.

Working Christmas day, Christmas Eve, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. No overtime payments AT ALL.

Shitty doesn’t describe the conditions by half.

I won’t detail the food safety regulations I witnessed flouted- suffice to say, I’ll never buy a pre-packed sandwich again.

Originally posted on alittleecon:

Embedded image permalink

This Daily Mail’s front page caused a bit of a stir today with its implcation that Brits lack the skills or attitude to make sandwiches! The story is that an Irish firm who make a large proportion of pre-packed sandwiches sold in the UK have struggled to hire British workers and have instead looked to Hungary for staff . The Daily Mail decided to spin this as a ‘lazy Brits’ story, that people don’t want to work any more as they can live off benefits. The rather ridiculous headline was quite well lampooned by Twitter users and some of the best responses were collated in this article.

The real story here of course is not one about lazy Brits but rather shitty employer struggles to fill shitty jobs. This article gives some more background on the employer in question. If this firm was not able to import workers from…

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Written by Smiling Carcass

11/11/2014 at 9:20 AM

Posted in Uncategorized

The Welfare State

with 5 comments

Now, way back in the 60’s I can only remember my dad being ill. I have vague memories of sitting on the back step, him coming home with a packet of sweets- Werther’s toffees, as I remember.

Beyond that, I remember the struggle he and mom had to look after us; we never had the things the other kids had, but we had love. Some poor kids never had that, despite the comparative wealth of their parents.

Now I have two kids, both in their 20s. My daughter is a manager at MacDonald’s, my son a dry wall and ceiling fixer.

Both doing well, me a caster, too earning good money.

Without the welfare state, my dad may well have not survived; without the welfare state, I may not have survived and it stands to reason, my two tax paying kids may not have even existed.

Do not let the welfare state die- without it we all die- or may not even exist.

Written by Smiling Carcass

08/11/2014 at 9:37 PM

Posted in Uncategorized

“I hate politics”

with 4 comments

Originally posted on Guy Debord's Cat:

I don’t hate politics but I’ve heard a lot of people use that phrase as a response to any mention of the word “politics”. The other phrase I often hear is “I’m not interested in politics” or “I’m apolitical’. So these people have no opinion on anything? Is this what they’re trying to say?

For today’s postmodern politicians, these words are a godsend. Legions of politically disinterested people, who avert their eyes from what’s happening in the world or in their locale, give our imperial masters the space to behave like feudal overlords. Are you happy with that?

More recently, I’ve had people tell me that UKIP is “anti-politics”, which is rather odd for a political party. No? “Yes, but UKIP aren’t like the other parties”, they’ll add with all seriousness. This is a party that’s become a refuge for the extreme right-wing of the Tory Party and bankrolled by…

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Written by Smiling Carcass

04/11/2014 at 8:23 AM

Posted in Uncategorized

War

with one comment

I looked around and thought ‘what?’

These humans, they’re a strange old lot

They kill each other, oft for fun

They’ll use a knife, they’ll use a gun

They claim the thing that they abhor

Is taking arms and making war

And yet they do so on a whim

For land, for oil

For being ‘him’!

Written by Smiling Carcass

31/10/2014 at 10:52 AM

Posted in Poems

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